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I started my quest to find a FSU woman 6 years ago.
Having been a
RWL, St Johns member for over 4 years and married to a UW for almost four years
now, I think I have accumulated a fair amount of experience in this arena.
I think there
are probably many more scammers now than several years ago because of the
expansion of the Internet and increased access to the Internet by FSU
women.
There are varying degrees of scamming going on.
There are women who
make heir living in their respective FSU homes
obtaining money from prospective suitors by offering various stories and lies
devised to obtain money from men.
These women have no intention of marrying a foreign man and
they have
discovered they can make a nice living obtaining money from multiple suitors.
This scamming is also done by unscrupulous FSU
agency owners who write fake
letters and some coerce the women or do so in
cooperation with them to scam money from foreign men.
There is another group of women whose game plan is to find the best
man they can (from a material standpoint) and marry him with the intention to
divorce him after she gets her green card.
Of the many RW/UW I have met over
the years, I have not met anyone who definitively fell in the first
category. I
have suspected several women of this plan but have not been able to
conclusively prove their intentions.
There is a third category that is much more prevalent.
These are
women who want a better life and think they can be happy
marrying a man they don't know or don't love, thinking they can grow to love
him or at least live with him as a trade-off to a better life.
I have met a number of women who
fall in this category and the number is increasing all the time.
In almost
every instance, this scenario does not work and the women end up leaving
their husbands. I know several
women who are friends of my wife who fall
in this category
and it's painful socializing with these couples knowing that the wife will
inevitably leave when she gets her green card.
In most instances you can look at these couples and see a
disparity in ages, social / educational backgrounds, physical appearance,
etc. that makes it obvious that
these couples are not well-suited for each other.
Then again, I know
several couples who look like total mismatches that are very happy.
So for all of you still in the hunt, here are several pieces of
advice (most of which have been discussed many times before):
1. Be careful of large
disparities in backgrounds, whether it be
age, social, educational, appearance, etc.
I'm not saying couples with
disparate
backgrounds cannot succeed, but lesser disparities increase the likelihood of
success.
2. Concentrate on women who have
at least a basic knowledge of
English. I
know there are many happily married couples where the wife knew no English
when they met, but communication is an important part of any marriage and
it's even more difficult if you don't understand each other completely in
the
courting stage. Make sure you
discuss all aspects of your future life together.
This includes money, children, whether the wife will need or want to work, lifestyles, future goals, etc.
I know sometimes it can feel
like you are interviewing each other for a job, but it's a necessity due
to the
unusual courting procedure involved in this process.
3. Be wary of situations that
develop too quickly. Don't feel
pressured because you have spent several thousand dollars
and made a trip to the FSU to meet someone you have been communicating with
for several months. Just
because you are there and spent 2 wonderful weeks together doesn't
mean you
have to propose. Multiple trips
might be in order.
4. If you have doubts or see red
flags, move on. There are
thousands of women available.
Just keep trying. The
more you contact the greater
your likelihood of success. I
know there was one guy who spent many months and wrote thousands of letters
finding his wife.
5. Be wary of women who ask for
money. Most good FSU women have
pride and wouldn't think of asking for money from a
stranger. If they do ask, this is a red flag.
I know there are exceptions.
There is nothing wrong with
sending money for e-mail costs for communicating but be wary of stories about
momma's impending surgery or for money needed to travel to visit a dying
aunt.
I don't envy those of you presently in the process.
I think it is
much more difficult now than before.
Everyone needs to be more cautious.
However, the
potential rewards are incredible.
A good FSU woman whose values have
not been tainted by unrealistic expectations of life in the Western world
will make a great partner in life.
Good luck
to all.
Lee B.
San Carlos, CA
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